Thursday, October 15, 2015

Patty Trahoon to Momster Mash 

A legend returns to terrorize our souls 

A mommy returns to terrorize her children 


Patty Trahoon (story poem) 


When problems seem so far away
And worries appear under bay
And night draws its shadow on day
But listen I’ve something to say
It just might be death’s afternoon
This legend of Patty Trahoon
-
Some say he is all in our head
Some choose to stay quiet instead
While some run for safety of bed
He’ll be upon us really soon
Aware of the things which were said
This one they call Patty Trahoon
-
Brave people don’t often recall
Exactly how the mighty fall
Or what turns a mind to a loon
Is not what they dwell on at all
When they know there’s no way to stall
The terror of Patty Trahoon
-
Oh mothers kiss children goodnight
And stay with them under this moon
But don’t let your eyes close too tight
Stay weary of oncoming blight
That shadow that just stole that light
Might just be this Patty Trahoon
-
When dawn brings an end to this tune
And hope again welcomes the sun
They laugh at a tale that was spun
For all a new day has begun
For all that is except for one
Now taken by Patty Trahoon 


(Notice how the line that rhymes with "Trahoon" progresses one step closer to the top as the pom progresses. - Patty Trahoon was a character made up by my fake brother. That's right, I said fake brother. In 8th grade I met this person, Mike, who looked exactly like me. My doppelganger! We looked so much alike no one could tell us apart. We became brothers. Brothers whose mother divorced our father, which explained why we had different last names (to confused minds). Mike lived with his aunt and I left my stepfather to move in with my mother and her new husband, when Patty Trahoon was created. My mom and Mike's aunt were very superstitious. Mike was very thorough introducing "the legend of Patty Trahoon" to them. I simply played along. "Oh yes; Everyone knows that." Whenever things went wrong or things came up missing, it was Patty Trahoon. As Mike and I grew older, the legend planted by two young pranksters lived on. After all, two charming young men would never lie to their mother.)


I know if Patty Trahoon were here, he'd appreciate this theme song: 
John Carpenter "The Fog" 

From one tale of terror to another 


Smelling bananas and/or green apples (smelling, not eating) can help you lose weight. Parents, try this instead of embarrassing your children. But if you must embarrass your kids, listen to the advice of Deva Dalporto's 9 year old daughter. It seems, with Halloween around the corner, the kids at school are having a common problem. Their moms.
In hopes that their moms might get the message and to help other kids, who are suffering the same plight, the kids have put together this PSA. "Momster Mash - Monster Mash Parody"

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Proverb

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