Thursday, February 16, 2017

The Bitter Spice to When It's Just The Dudes At Home 
A father who didn't have enough time for his son 
A father who may have a little too much time with his son 


The Bitter Spice (Shakespearean sonnet) 

My son I weave a tale about a man
Someone who used his time to do his best
Who tried to always answer yes I can
Tomorrow there’d be time enough to rest
-
There always seemed to be a world of need
Another soul whose hands stretched out toward me
Another cry for help which I did heed
How many dreams did I help to set free
-
Yet as the father reached out toward his son
He was aware of who had paid the price
So many sought his help except for one
And here it was the bitterest of spice
-
My son I leave to this now full grown lad
Who turned politely said I love you dad


A father opens up to his son in this Shakespearean sonnet. Typically Shakespearean sonnets are about love. This is not a hard and fast rule. Here is example of using a Shakespearean sonnet to paint a picture of a different type. 

This was not going to happen to me. When Arlene and I became parents, we had slightly different ideas about our relationship as parents.Arlene believed, we had make some time, every once in awhile, for ourselves. I believed that our kids needed all our attention, until they were old enough. When Peter and Robin were babies, Arlene and I shared in all the necessities (changing diapers, feeding, cleaning and the rest). Weekends and holidays were for taking the kids out and about. Both of our kids went to preschool, but I taught them reading and math. Peter was reading by his forth birthday. Robin was more socially gifted. She took to music, until cooking and food caught her interest. Peter was a straight A student. Arlene and I were very involved with our kids' schooling, school and homework. Neither Arlene nor I ever struck our kids. Both Peter and Robin were volunteers at the San Francisco Zoo. Both went to martial arts school to learn how to defend themselves. They were both active in sports. One of Peter's science projects made it to the state finals. Peter was accepted into Lowell High School, the top high school in the city. He worked very hard. So hard that Arlene and I decided to let up a little on Robin. Lowell was so hard that Peter had to give up the extracurricular actives we all enjoyed in our high school days, like dating. I felt really bad for Peter. I wanted to put him in a regular school. Peter wanted to see his hardships through. Both Peter and Robin are now successful adults. Peter is going for his Phd in anthropology at the University of California at Berkeley, all expenses paid. Robin is a successful chef. She was recognized as one of the Bay Area's top ten up and coming chefs by Zagat (a restaurant rating service). Robin was on an episode of "Cutthroat Kitchen". Neither Peter or Robin is in a relationship. I see no grandchildren in my future.

Parenting, I can tell people this with confidence: I'm not certain if I knew what I was doing. My whole family gave up so much to get where we are. Being a parent,for me, was hard (and fun). Perhaps Arlene and I could have, should have made a moment or two for ourselves. But from here it is all hindsight. Most of my charity work was with the youth. I did observe this: Parenting was different. I mean different in all aspects of different (experience, life styles, culture, expenses and on and on). Two individuals (sometimes one) are blessed with another individual, who is an open sieve in search of knowledge. Soon this individual brings home a world to deal with. Then there are the memories that come alive. "When I was their age." Then they become adults. (That's another story.) For those of us who made it, there are the smiles.To everyone else, there is my sister. She had no time for her son. She had to work to make ends meet. Her son became a fireman to make his mother proud and to show her that he loved her. (It all works out.) Parenting is part of life. Life is a wonder; So Enjoy.


Back to the sonnet: Harry Chapin "Cat's in the Cradle" 

Here's a baby who likes Michael Jackson 


The U.S. Census reports that 32% of married fathers (approximately 7 million dads) are “a regular source of care for their children under age 15, up from 26% from 2002.” The U.S. Census defines “regular care of children” as an arrangement that is consistent at least one day per week. Adam Ballard is one of those dads. What do these two do when all the work is done? 
Here is Miles Ballard performing "Beat It". "When It's Just The Dudes At Home" 

Thank you for stopping by and your kind support 


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We never know the love of a parent 
till we become parents ourselves. 
Henry Ward Beecher


 

22 comments:

  1. My late husband was a wonderful father to my two sons, always had time for their talents, then our first grandchild came along he two a boy. Hubby had plans what he was going to do in his life, sadly two later he passed away and never got around to do his plans or to see his other three grandchildren.
    I felt all my heartache in your poem, it do help and thank you.

    Yvonne/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for sharing this. It adds so much color and value to this edition.
      I appreciate your warmth

      Delete
  2. Parenting sure is a big task and everyone does it different, at least slightly. Sometimes it does take all you have just to get by though, but most times, worth it in the end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so right.
      Thank you for the affirmation.

      Delete
  3. Thank you for this touching wonderful post, and the chance to know you better, my new friend Martin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are quite welcome.
      Thank you for your support and the light of your site

      Delete
  4. A touching view of parenthood and sacrifice. Thank you for sharing. Great read!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for this great review.
      Nice to see you here.

      Delete
  5. I agree with Arlene. Parents need to take some time for themselves. You both turned out to be great parents with great kids! You did good. Yes, its hard.
    Lisa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In hindsight, you're right.
      Thank you for the compliment.

      Delete
  6. What a thoughtful poem and words. Parenting sounds like a challenge. I am glad you could both be there for your kids and that they're doing so well as adults.

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    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed. Yes, parenting is an adventure.
      Thank you for your kind thoughts.

      Delete
  7. nice poem and wise words of experience. I agree with the quote at the end!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you
      So happy you enjoyed
      Enjoy your adventure

      Delete
  8. Hello, it is a great feeling knowing that your children are doing so well. You did a great job parenting. I enjoyed the poem and the quote. Happy Friday, enjoy your weekend!

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    Replies
    1. I am very proud of my kids.
      Thank you for the compliment and glad you enjoyed poem.
      Enjoy your weekend

      Delete
  9. I really like this because it is a different emotion. Not many capture the relationship between a father and son like this. Well done!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for sharing this valuable insight.

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  10. My father loved his daughters more than his son because my brother was quite uneasy kid to handle and nothing could change it .
    we both sisters were lucky to have our parents full love and attention .
    though we lived in village where girls were under lots of pressure and education was not allowed but our father and mother both stood for our rights and today i feel so blessed and grateful because their love and care made me a good mother today and when i hear this from my husband my kids or relatives my tears of gratitude roll down.
    thank you for you touching post

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for sharing this interesting insight. You were fortunate to be blessed with good parents.
      Looking forward to your next post. Until then, the best of everything...

      Delete